What to do when your child has a rough day at Kindermusik or anywhere!

October 3, 2015 at 9:25 pm | Posted in Kindermusik | Leave a comment

I want to thank Therese Case for the idea of addressing this topic.

“Although it is not any more difficult to be a Kindermusik parent than it is to just be a parent, sometimes things happen in class that make it difficult to be a parent in Kindermusik class. So what to do when your child runs around, gets extra clingy, or acts out?

First, just find your breath for a second. Nothing will get worse in the time it takes you to pause, and everything stands to get better for your having done it.

Next, realize that most parents are not judging you, and neither is your Kindermusik teacher. They are most likely feeling a great deal of empathy for you at the moment!  And even if they were judging, this isn’t about them. It’s about the fact that your child is either hungry, tired, or just plain trying to exercise some control over his or her world.

So here’s what to do.  Try engaging with your child at a level that is best at the moment.  You can also feel free to disengage for a minute by sitting away from the group or even stepping out in the lobby for a bit if necessary. Perhaps your little one is just a bit too over-stimulated and needs some calm and quiet. A snack and a drink out in the lobby may be all it takes to resurrect that happy little person you normally live with and enjoy in class.

If your child isn’t quite ready to relinquish an instrument or object, that’s okay. Give it a minute. Some kids need more time than others to transition. Once we’ve moved on to a different activity, most kids aren’t so interested in that particular instrument anymore and will be happy to put it where it goes.

It may be that your little one didn’t get enough sleep or is starting to get sick and just doesn’t feel well.  If you need to leave, send us an e-mail and we can reschedule!  We happily offer unlimited make-up classes.

And, finally, check out Becky Bailey’s work for additional discipline resources—there are lots of free ideas on her website.

Remember that it can take several weeks for your child to adjust to Kindermusik, whether it’s his first classes ever or she’s just getting used to being with back in the routine or with some new friends.  Kids are kids.  We wouldn’t have been in the business of Kindermusik for over 20 years now if we didn’t accept and love them just the same!”

In addition to Therese’s words I would like to add that sometimes it is also where your child is developmentally. Some children are challenged with a mixture of change, growth, joy and frustration. During this transition, the changes in physical, cognitive, social, emotional, and communication skills are all amazing and at times very overwhelming, to parents as well as to children! The key is being consistent and allowing your child to move into the group on their terms. You and your child are not alone in this process. It is a common difficulty for children to not know how to help themselves through overwhelming circumstances. It is essential for us to help them grow through these circumstances.

A major task for young children is resolving the conflict between desire for love and protection and the urge to become independent. When “the going gets tough, the tough get going” right back to your lap. Some professionals call this the “rubber band”stage because it seems like the child is pulling outward and then snapping back. Giving your child permission to retreat to safety in your arms allows her to naturally move to greater independence when she is ready. Making the focus remain on the child and where they are at, right in the moment, is always the best approach. It allows us to watch our children grow and change at the pace that is best for them.

Another wonderful resource is the work of Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, and here is her website, which is a rich resource in itself.

Music, as a fundamental route for the expression of human emotion, is an excellent tool for helping learn to identify and channel emotions. Let your Kindermusik educator help you through those difficult times.

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